Written by Nathaniel J Hall
Directed by Scott Le Crass
A Dibby Theatre production commissioned by HOME
HOME
TOXIC is a semi-autobiographical piece from writer, actor and HIV activist Nathaniel J Hall. Six years on from the premiere of First Time which I saw in 2017 at Sale Waterside, at Edinburgh Fringe in 2018 and at CONTACT in 2021, its time to see what that tricky “second album” looks like. This is an exploration of how two troubled souls forged a trauma bond but sadly as Hall says This is the story of how we met, fell in love, and f*cked it up. The piece looks at how intoxicating love can disintegrate into something damaged and ultimately toxic. Woven through this love story gone wrong is a powerful look at the personal impact of his HIV diagnosis as a teenager and his partners’ experience of growing up mixed race in a sometimes violent household while both were also grappling with coming to terms with their own sexuality.
That’s a lot to pack into a 90 minute show and deal with any of the subject matter with any depth or sensitivity. In the main TOXIC does a lovely job of vividly evoking two flawed characters that have charm and real substance. Hall exudes winsome vulnerability and Josh-Susan Enright gives a warm rich depth to their performance. Watching them meet and fall in love it’s easy to root for a happy ending even as the show opens with an unabashed ending spoiler. There is something joyfully endearing about this boxfresh couple building a domestic life together with a dog and a DFS sofa. However the broken windows of a cleverly claustrophobic set by designer Lu Herbert already hints at the tragedy yet to unfold. Hall breezily blends glib humour and sly asides into his writing which counterbalances some of the more uncomfortable subject matter without sacrificing the power of the narrative. He may gleefully suggest we just call us your friendly neighbourhood red flags but when he recalls situations where he was called unfuckable because of his HIV status it is hard not to feel the pain in that recollection.
The on stage chemistry between Hall and Josh-Susan Enright is palpable and the latter feels like a perfect foil as the more experienced lover. One is ready to retire their party lifestyle whereas the other is still curious and hungry for the experience denied him before the game changing introduction of PrEP. Their blend of domesticity and drug fuelled partying leads to hook up apps and threesomes that descend into paranoia and jealousies that destroy their happiness. In the main the story is well paced and highly engaging. However there are points towards the end where the show seems to flounder a little. Hall seems breathy in some of his delivery and the fight scene doesn’t quite resonate as it could. Overall this is an assured production that looks great and is cleverly lit by Tracey Gibbs especially in the moments where the visual effects seem to bathe the cast and set with an insidious splatter effect that echoes germs multiplying in a petri dish. The dividing stage is a surprising and startlingly effective way of depicting how broken this couple now are. As Hall says Hurt people hurt people. There is a lovely and reassuring sense of maturity in this insight…something to be truly proud of whatever race, gender or sexuality you may be. There is never shame in recognising our own flaws or damage when we are open to learning and healing.
Live Art Alive 